I adore sour candy

A few random thoughts.

Me. There are many parts of me that make me who I am.

First off, I adore harmony. This can be a strength and a weakness. Strength, because I confront my problem straight on, until resolved. I am not afraid to confront someone. Weakness, because I don't like to rock the boat when it seems easier to let it be.

Another part of me, is that I adore anything sour... I love shockers, and cry babies - right now. I avoid certain aisles at the grocery store to avoid the pull to the yummy shockers.

I eat, on average, one lemon a day. I love the round lemons - barely any seeds in a round lemon. I eat lemons like someone would eat an orange. I don't like oranges... Had too many bad ones when I was young.

Also, I eat jalapeños out of the jar. I eat a whole jar within two weeks.

I stay positive majority of the time. If there is a bump in the road, I turn the experience into a lesson for my life. I try to learn one new thing a day.

Control Quote

"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." Deborah Reber

Control

A few definitions from www.thefreedictionary.com on Control:

"1. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. See Synonyms at conduct.
2. To adjust to a requirement; regulate: controlled trading on the stock market; controls the flow of water.
3. To hold in restraint; check: struggled to control my temper.
4. To reduce or prevent the spread of: control insects; controlled the fire by dousing it with water."

My Experience With Control:

Who doesn't like to control one's surroundings? I sure do. I love being able to predict the future, I could be prepared...

Over a year ago, my life became out of control. I was spiraling down in to an abyss without a bottom.

In May of 2012, I woke up early; worried (pretty normal), but it was more intense. I was worried about something that was going to happen in two days. I was worried about what was going to happen. I found my journal to write, but I could not find a pen...

I started talking to my self, like a crazy person. I was just repeating myself and could not figure out what it was that was bothering me. Like I was so close to understanding, but just could not grasp the entire thought.

I continued to talk until all of a sudden I stated:

"I can't control what is about to happen."

I gasped at my words.

The weight on my back released.

I began to say out loud what I could control and what I couldn't. The conclusion that I realized was:

I can't control what people say or do.

I can control what I say and do.

I can control my reaction to the behavior of others.

Random Thoughts: Taking a Deep Breath

The other day, I was listening to a report about a study of infants breathing and the connection to their ability to cope with different situations later in life.  Right when I turned on the report, I heard someone say that the researchers had found that babies heart rate slows when the baby took in a deep breath and quickens when babies breath out.

As I was listening to the explanation, I envisioned someone hyperventilating...  The image flashed across my eyes and I thought no wonder some might faint or have a panic attack.

I was envisioning myself.

I took a deep breath.  My body calmed from my deep breaths.  Amazing that something so basic can have such a big effect.

Today and everyday has been stressful.  There are changes at work.  And a lot of the "What Ifs" are being played out by everyone...

I have learned with my recovery that a much better approach is to breath deep and remember that the moment is the moment, like the concept of One Day at a Time.  

My employee stressed two times today, which is not like her.  She stopped breathing for moments when she got to her peak and I look straight at her and told her, breath.  I reminded her it was fixable.  That we have safeguards for this specific reason.  She took a deep breath and her color came back.   And she realized that it would work out just fine.

When I need to remind myself to breath, I remember the moment in the movie, "Ever After" when Drew Barrymore's character states, "Just Breath."  As she is walking into the ball.

A simple reminder for a simple thing to help one calm from a moment of stress: "Just Breath."