Control

A few definitions from www.thefreedictionary.com on Control:

"1. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. See Synonyms at conduct.
2. To adjust to a requirement; regulate: controlled trading on the stock market; controls the flow of water.
3. To hold in restraint; check: struggled to control my temper.
4. To reduce or prevent the spread of: control insects; controlled the fire by dousing it with water."

My Experience With Control:

Who doesn't like to control one's surroundings? I sure do. I love being able to predict the future, I could be prepared...

Over a year ago, my life became out of control. I was spiraling down in to an abyss without a bottom.

In May of 2012, I woke up early; worried (pretty normal), but it was more intense. I was worried about something that was going to happen in two days. I was worried about what was going to happen. I found my journal to write, but I could not find a pen...

I started talking to my self, like a crazy person. I was just repeating myself and could not figure out what it was that was bothering me. Like I was so close to understanding, but just could not grasp the entire thought.

I continued to talk until all of a sudden I stated:

"I can't control what is about to happen."

I gasped at my words.

The weight on my back released.

I began to say out loud what I could control and what I couldn't. The conclusion that I realized was:

I can't control what people say or do.

I can control what I say and do.

I can control my reaction to the behavior of others.