My Goal

Over one year ago my life changed.

My life turned dark.

Over one year ago, I had looked at my life and thought I had it all:

A great family; husband, a small child, long time friends, and a somewhat close family.  My days were of a full schedule.  Our goals were getting closer with each day; from going on the next trip to Costa Rica to retiring early.

October arrived like a dark cloud full of thunder and lightening.  It began to pour.  Over the next months I drove myself deeper and deeper into my abyss I was making for myself.

In April (my breakdown) was the first moment I had true clarity of what had just happened (and what had been happening for years, I just didn't know it at the time...)

From mid April to May I was in a numb zone.  I was taking it all in - The Truth.

At the end of May, I began a path of recovery from my lifetime of chaos. I came to realize that my life was unmanageable.

Little did I know that I was beginning a path which would take me beyond my wildest dreams.

There are times when I jokingly say... "If only I knew this stuff when I was younger" or "Everyone should be learning this stuff!"

The thing is - I was suppose to learn it now.  I was suppose to go through what I just went through to know.

Would I have listened?  Most likely not.  Would I have really followed it? Nope.

Everything happens for a reason...

I hit the bottom of my abyss with a thud.

I was suppose to get to my point of "rock bottom".

If I hadn't, I would not have known what "rock bottom" looked like.  

Where do you all come in?

My goal is to help at least one person 

in this chaotic world we live in.

Finding Hope in the Darkness

April 2012.  

I was wordless and crying.

I prayed for relief and guidance.

My tears flowed.

I drove to work and couldn't stop crying.

My work told me to go home.

I called my doctor.

They got me in to see her.

A new nurse guided me to the room.

 

My movements were slow, my body was waning.

I sat down in a chair and she asked me what was wrong.

My words were slow and calculated, wondered if I could say it out loud.

It was the first time I told anyone what had just happened over the last 6 months.

My prayers were answered - relief.

She told me that she had experienced a similar issue 7 months a go.

My tears ran down my face.

I was not alone.

My doctor came in and my prayers were answered again - guidance.

She told me that she had a similar experience and that she has worked with many individuals in the same situation.

She gave me the words I had struggled to find for months.

My mind and tears calmed.  

She told me that my life will be like nothing I could every imagine, with the much work that was ahead of me.

I found hope.  

Hope

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